Womans guide to dating
And she did: On JDate, Match.com, and e Harmony, she met guys who were six inches shorter or 30 pounds heavier than advertised; who picked expensive restaurants and passed the check to her; and who told her, mid drink, that they were married.One night, after another bad match and a solo bottle of wine, Webb rejoined JDate—this time posing as a man, to check out her competition. Webb crafted 10 male profiles so perfect they had to be fake (sample code name: Jewish Doc1000) to gather data: what the site's most popular women looked like, which keywords they used, how they timed their messages."It seemed strange now, that I'd just slap together my online dating profile, when I'd spent days agonizing over my résumé, tweaking and massaging it to land the perfect job," Webb writes in (Duffon), one of three new books about online dating out this month, in which she recounts how she cracked the online dating code to meet her now husband."Never include your name or even initials." Keep your About Me section positive and fun, the way you'd ideally come across at a cocktail party.At first, Webb thought that women who used opening lines such as "I'm a fun-loving girl that enjoys…" and "I'm a laid-back girl who wants…" were dumbing down.Play the Field"It's important to be in more than one community," Davis says."It's like being in more than one social circle." She suggests joining one mainstream site (say, e Harmony or Match.com) as well as one niche service, such as Cupidtino, which brings Apple-product obsessives together, or the unapologetically elitist Sparkology (the site's men—but not its women! "Changing sites from time to time, and then revisiting, is the best strategy," says Davis. Ace Your Profile"Your user name is going to inspire them to click," says Davis, who suggests a terminology mash-up (e.g., Sporty Smile).But such lightweight openers are disarming, approachable."If someone said to you 'I'm uncomplicated, generally in a happy mood, and I like to do stuff,' you'd want to hang out with him or her, right?
In the marvelously titled (Current), writer Dan Slater tracks a phenomenon that started in 1965 with "computer dating"—essentially a digital compatibility test, dreamed up by two lovelorn Harvard undergrads desperate to meet Radcliffe girls—and mushroomed into an estimated billion a year industry.
If, like me, you’re single and not batshit fucking crazy enough to have voted for the morally bankrupt, racist, sexist candidate in the presidential election of 2016, you might be wondering how you can start putting yourself out there to find a love match. That alone has probably kept me from even bothering with anything like online dating, because that’s not just a . Men, y’all really don’t like to hear a woman say that you need to do better. I’m thinking some of you don’t even like hearing a woman’s opinion at all unless it aligns with yours.
As a woman, I can tell you that living in America as it is today is exhausting (to be honest, it always has been, but this year cranked up the intensity to nearly insupportable levels). And, also, I’ve heard more racist and sexist shit in the last year than I’ve heard in the last fifteen years.
The morning after Election Day 2016, it felt like I woke up in a completely unrecognizable country surrounded by people who weren’t just on the other side politically but were actively against people who looked like me: black and female.
These folks voted for a man who stirred an already simmering pot with his racist rhetoric, causing it to boil over, and bragged about using his money and fame to forcibly kiss women and grab them by their genitals.
" Webb found that the most successful profiles were purposefully casual, under 500 words, and just detailed enough—specific, but not to the point of alienating someone ("like" HBO dramas, but don't zero in on ). Davis cites psychological studies that say the mind can easily grasp groups of three: "So stick to three interests, three words to describe your ideal match, or three favorite movies." Webb advises against mentioning your job, using foreign words, or referring to yourself in the third person.